It’s about that time of year where we start getting all kinds of pressure to set resolutions for the coming year. Which means it’s that time of year when I start rolling my eyes and shaking my head. Usually, resolutions do nothing more than set us up for failure, putting 51 weeks ahead of us before we can try again. The thing is, unattached to reflection and intention resolutions are useless.

Try this exercise. Get out your phone and scroll through the photos from 2024. I recently did this and was shocked to remember all I was able to accomplish and enjoy this year. If you aren’t a big photo taker, try looking at your calendar to remind yourself of some of the standout moments of the year. Write them all down! Maybe it’s something you overcame, or a fear you faced. Or maybe it was just a really fun time. Anything that you consider a win or accomplishment, add it to the list.

Here are a few from my own list:

Took my favorite niece to get her nose pierced (best auntie ever).

Created my first ever stained glass project.

Got a new puppy.

Went camping as many times as I had hoped to this summer.

Rode my mountain bike a ton (only one trip to urgent care!).

Helped my softball team have a winning season (make that two trips to urgent care…).

Attended a retreat for therapists that helped renew my energy.

Launched intensives as part of my therapeutic offerings.

Created a brand-new website.

Attended a long-awaited concert with my best friend

Learned to make candles

Read 26 books

Once you have your list, ask yourself what you’d like more of in the future, and what you’d like less of. For example, I’d like to participate in more retreats to help me center and relax. While I can laugh about the trips to urgent care, I can also be less of a daredevil so that there are fewer stitches in my future.

For you, maybe it’s a relationship you want less of. Maybe you’d like to see yourself taking more solo trips, being bolder at work, setting better boundaries socially, or working on reducing anxiety.

Now, we have reflection and intention. This is ripe soil for setting resolutions for the year. Add whatever structure you like around these resolutions. They can be for a few weeks, a month, or the whole year.

There is only one hard and fast rule about setting intentions or resolutions: set them with love. Love yourself setting the goal, love yourself when you meet it, and love yourself when you fall short. Our worthiness doesn’t depend on whether or not we meet these resolutions; they can only enhance our lives. Our lovability and worthiness are innate, unbreakable, and immovable.

Believing in you,

Sally